Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize