It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
