We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
