so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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