I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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