P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
