The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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