i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
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I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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