Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
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this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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