I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
