I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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