If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
