hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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