I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
