I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
