well you can't waste a boner
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is Oprah even human
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
