Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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