I want to walk on stilts...naked
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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