That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
