careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
