Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
