and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
