I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
