I wanna passion pit in your ass
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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