do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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