Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
