i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize