I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
