I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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