So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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