Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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