They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
