Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
