Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
