Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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