Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
