Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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