woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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