I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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