Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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