Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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