I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
