DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
