My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just had sex on a roof
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
