They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My cat gives me a boner
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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