Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
