All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
