just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize