I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
