Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
