If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
