i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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