so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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