How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
