I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My cat gives me a boner
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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