? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
