Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize
