Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
