Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We are all done wearing pants today
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
