dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
