I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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