I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
