why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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