i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
