Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
