These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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