The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
