wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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