Whod you bang
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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