I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
