It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So many bounce houses so little time
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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